ANGELICA G WRITES

Well, we did it, we got a cat. This is our first pet as a couple, and we already love her so much. I wasn’t sure how it would go, having a cat, because I’ve never had a relationship with a cat before, my family only ever had rabbits and dogs, and were not ‘cat people’.

I wonder why the world decided that people should be labelled like that. I find it peculiar, but must admit, I would often use that label on people too. ‘Are you a cat person or a dog person?’ i’d ask. I never knew many people who owned a cat, and if they did, i’d never see it. I thought cats didn’t like me. But I realise now that I just didn’t know anything about them. And then my partner came into my life, and for the first time ever, I started to become intrigued by cats and open to learning about them. And yesterday the right moment came, and we adopted a little kitten.

After almost 24 hrs with this curious, sweet and playful girl, I can say with certainty that I am a cat person. I am also a dog person, and a bird person, a giraffe person and a flower person. I am an everything person, because I am endlessly fascinated by everything. And because I am getting pretty tired of these sanctioned labels that make you feel like you have to decide who you are, what you’re interested in and what kind of image you want to portray to the world, all before the age of 12, and then make sure you never stray from that despite going through the tumultuous nature of life which is full of change and growth. How silly, that we walk around putting people into boxes, just so it can make sense to our poor brains.

I’m realising just how empowering it is to go through life making your own mind up about things. I think that takes courage, hard work, openness, a commitment to authenticity, a willingness to change. It’s simple to look to others for guidance on what to think, feel, and like in this world. Maybe it makes life simpler, but I don’t think it makes it as rich. Maybe it makes it easier to find people to connect with, but I don’t think that’s real connection, going through the world labelling everyone, and then finding those with the same labels as your own to justify that you belong.

I think I’ve always found it so hard to make my own mind up about things because like so many of us, I learnt that being agreeable made people like you, made people comfortable, and made people happy. Also because I lacked a lot of self-belief and self-trust throughout my life. Since forever, I’ve had a firm desire to please others, to be a good girl, to be liked, and to never, rock the boat. Because people pleasing meant acceptance, and acceptance meant safety. I know that i’m not the only one with this ludicrous narrative, and I know that it’s breakable, because I’m doing it.

The time has come, at the ripe old age of (almost) 29, to make my own mind up about things. Shout out to Cloudy – thanks girl, for showing me the immense value of an open mind.